This came hand-addressed to me in the mail yesterday:





Goddamned Jehovah's Witnesses! Where the heck did this person get my address and why is she sending me her garbage? I wonder if she looked up my name from the Haunted Forest program and she's spamming everyone who participated in such a satanic ritual. What do you think I should send back to her? Atheist propaganda? Pornography? An Ozzy Osbourne CD?

In other news, at the Haunted Forest cast party last night, I signed up to be contacted about performing in a Green Mountain Renaissance Faire this summer, so I have that to look forward to. I also was asked by one of the Fun For Change board members if I'd ever be interested in joining the Board of Directors! I might consider it--it sure would look neat on a resume!

My next knitting project is well underway, but I can't post pictures just yet because the person it's a gift for totally reads my lj. Soon though!

My e-mail at work gets a ridiculous ton of spam; I've been saving up the ones that are particularly comedic gems to share here:

• "John Mccain Kicks Lilly Ledbetter In The Crotch"
  
• "Thugs piss on corpses"
  
• "Rape victim goes free in CA" I would hope so!
  
• "Scientists Create Prosthetic Brain"
  
• "Bush To Reporters: Fuck The Constitution"
  
• "Shocking video of cute kitten" OMFG
  
• "Restaurants caught recycling food"
  
• "We provide everything to make your life healthy and perfect." Really, everything? Wow, thanks!
  
• "10 things to tell a naked woman!" What, like randomly on the street or something?
  
• "More than length, toughness and resistance" Cock push-ups?
  
• "Eminem found dead in disco toilet"
  
• "Medicine's version of 'MIRACLE-GRO.'" Wang fertilizer, yes!!
  
• "Your love tool is due to be increased!" Shit, is it Thursday already?
  
• "Come see our money party!"
  
• "Bomb her womb from your huge cannon!" Yeah, that's hot.
  
• "Angelina Jolie's Lips Explode"
  
• "Britney sues vagina for divorce"
  
• "Paris Hilton gets a third breast implant. Taunts Lohan & Spears to do the same!" Possibly the most grammatically correct spam I have ever received.
  
• "Paris Hilton To Operate New Atom Smasher"
  
• "Paris Hilton Gives Confusing News Conference"
  
• "Paris Hilton: The Day I Found Out Gary Glitter Is My Dad" I got a lot of variations on the Paris Hilton theme.
  
• "Bigger, faster and harder" One of these things is not like the other...
  
• "Breathe a new life into your love organ" YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
  
• "My buddies are in awe of my size" Why are you showing it to them?
  
• "Spacious presents for those whom you value" It's not clear to me what this message is advertising.
  
• "Make your shaft the longest and hardest one in the world" That does not sound remotely appealing.

( Possibly NWS, if you work with prudes. )
Not specifically what I had in mind when I promised more interesting content, but I lol'ed.